A heart-bursting experience

I had often wondered how I would identify the child we would be parents to. I thought that I would look at lots of profiles and had asked my Social Worker, “How do you know?” She told me I ‘just would’.  

I instantly had a feeling that this little girl was ours and she met what we were looking for.   

On the day of panel I felt so nervous I surprised myself. I feel I am usually a resilient person and I was shocked to find I felt so emotional.  Everything we had ever wanted depended on this outcome and, as we drove to the panel, the feelings intensified.

We entered the panel room and I remember feeling I was so nervous I would find it difficult to actually speak. The panel chair put us at ease and panel commenced with the chair explaining what the members of the panel thought our strengths were.  This helped me to calm slightly.

Following this we were quickly told we had been approved and I think I must have thanked the panel members over ten times before leaving the room.  The relief flooded through me. 

We saw our daughter for the first time and neither of us could take our eyes off her. As she became less tired and began to play she approached us (we were asked not to engage unless she approached us) and we managed to hold her.   

I can only describe this experience as heart-bursting.