Their bond melts my heart

The training was really good and made you think about adoption in more depth. Even though I’d like to think I was aware of the issues surrounding why children are adopted, the reality of how this affects them was both sad and emotional.  

I learnt some really valuable tools to use. It made me think of ways in which to deal with situations differently. Which I have continued throughout my journey.   

My assessment sessions were nice actually, try to see it as talking to a new friend so they can get to know you. I guess nobody is perfect and so we all come with different strengths and weaknesses. I was open, honest and truthful and I would encourage you to do the same. Having dealt with some challenges in life will only make you a better adopter (that’s how I see it)! 

I remember the panel for approval. A bit like a job interview and I suppose that’s exactly what it is! Quite a scary experience, as the decision they make is going to affect your life immensely. I was asked about the effect I thought it may have on my first adopted son? How I would juggle being a single working parent? The whole assessment had prepared me for these scenarios, so I didn’t feel phased. The panel were lovely and I was given unanimous approval.  

I had to read a long 40-page report of his little life to date and the circumstances surrounding his adoption. It took me several days and, again, was another very emotional experience. He had been removed at birth, so had not suffered any significant neglect or abuse. But he still did have a traumatic start to life. His birth mum’s history was extremely sad and just left me feeling empathy towards her.  

The first day of meeting him, I can actually say I felt utterly sick... excitement and nerves. I am not generally a nervous person, but I guess the rollercoaster of emotions were all there! My fears resided as soon as I met him! There was just something telling me, restoring my faith and telling me it was going to work. 

I have the most happy, funny, loving, resilient, strong and beautiful boys in the world. To see their bond literally melts my heart. And for all those who wonder whether you can love another child as much, the answer is a huge ‘yes’!! I would not change a thing about them. 

It has also been extremely challenging. Lots of things have happened which I had never anticipated and there were times when I questioned whether I was strong enough. I first accessed post adoption support to get therapy for my son. I knew his development was not typical, he had lots of sensory issues and was slow to speak. We had private occupational therapy for sensory integration. We then accessed support again when I sadly had to give up work temporarily.  

Life has been a hell of a journey, but here we are nearly five years along the line and the jigsaw is finally settling into place.