Our journey

Everyone we’ve met at Adopt North East has been professional, helpful and genuinely keen to help us succeed. 

The early training sessions were an overall explanation of the adoption process and we were made to feel at ease from the very beginning. There was no pressure and it felt like everyone in the room was in the same boat. Copious amounts of tea and biscuits helped make it feel less daunting. 

The later sessions were heavy at times. Indeed, we found some of the topics harrowing and often uncomfortable. But they were necessary in order for us to understand a child’s journey, and we believed this was Adopt North East preparing us for any situation in the future. 

We were very fortunate in that we bonded with our social worker from the off. Efficient was her middle name. We loved that she’d be wearing her jeans and would look relaxed as she chatted. She’d have a cuppa and a slice of cake during the sessions and this was really important for us, as it made us feel like she felt welcome in our home. 

As for the assessments themselves, we found them cathartic. There’s something about just talking about yourself that we both rather enjoyed. We were worried the sessions would be deep and intrusive, but our social worker was gentle in her approach and we never felt pressured or uncomfortable. 

The panel was the part we were most worried about. It’s the biggie. It felt like we were putting ourselves out there and trying to sell ‘us’ to all of these people who held our future in their hands.

We were nervous and scared on the day. There was double the amount of people we thought would be on the panel, and it felt like a sea of faces as we entered the room. Our social worker was like our ‘mam’ – she was right there with us, to guide us and ‘hold our hands’. But I have no idea why we were so terrified – every single person on that panel was lovely. Just so down-to-earth. The lady leading the meeting was truly the nicest – she explained everything that was going to happen and made us feel completely at ease.

Everyone introduced themselves and they were all very smiley. One person even said they’d sat where we were, so got how we were feeling and assured us it would be fine. We were asked around four questions and together, we felt like we answered them as honestly as we could. We were told there and then that we’d been approved, and it was like we’d won the lottery. It was pure elation. 

It was only a matter of weeks after being at panel that we were offered a match. We couldn’t believe it as we were expecting to wait months, if not years. We’d originally said we were interested in taking an older child – from 18 months onwards but were willing to keep an open mind.

We were lucky enough to already have a son naturally and he’d stipulated he wanted a ‘baby sister’. He was the reason we started the process in the first place – he’d asked when he was going to be a ‘big brother’ and we knew it would never happen for us again naturally. 

We were matched with an 8-month-old girl. Our social worker rang to ask if we’d be interested in knowing more. Initially, we were slightly dubious as we assumed we were done with sleepless nights but on the other hand, our son believed he was getting a ‘baby sister’.

Our social worker chatted us through her background and then gave us a document to read at our leisure which would tell us more about her life story. And then we saw her picture. Immediately, we knew she was ‘ours’.

The day we walked into the room and met our daughter, is a moment in time that will be etched ever so clearly in my mind until I die.

We were stressed as we’d left in plenty of time, assuming we’d be early for the initial meeting but we hit traffic and were then late. But all that dissolved as soon as we saw her. She was sitting playing with a toy on the floor and looked up at us. We melted.

The foster carer was very friendly and over the week, was extremely helpful and guided us on her daily routine. The foster carer was also very accommodating and flexible – our agenda for the week wasn’t set in stone. We worked it around what worked for us all, but in particular, our new baby girl. 

When we brought her home, we were kind of scared of the unknown. But we knew from first-hand experience from having our little boy that kids don’t come with a manual.

As parents, you do whatever you have to do to make it work for you. It doesn’t matter what advice others give you, it’s what feels right for you. We were amazed at how well she adjusted and after a fortnight, it felt like she’d always been here with us. 

We won’t sugar-coat it – after the initial ‘dream’ settling in, we had a period of about five weeks when she wouldn’t sleep. We were on our knees with sleep deprivation. But we worked our way through it. And it got better.

Now she sleeps really well. We’re heading for terrible twos at the minute and we need eyes in the back of our heads! But you know what? She’s thriving. Her speech is astounding. She’s such a little character.

She brings real joy (not so much at 2am, we have to admit). The way she believes we are her ‘real’ mammy and daddy just fills us with such emotion. Because we are her mammy and daddy. Her forever mammy and daddy. And she’s our daughter.